It Was An Accident, I Swear!
by knittingFamine
Summary: It's his Pond's wedding night, and The Doctor decides to (probably because he forgot a gift for them in the first place) take them on a honeymoon trip through the stars to a calm alien planet. However, all doesn't exactly go to plan when the trio accidentally crashes another wedding. A certain Watson wedding. Complete with the one and only, Sherlock Holmes. WHOLOCK CROSSOVER!
1. Wedding Crashers

**Hello Readers!**  
**This is the beginning to a story that I am hoping is only seven chapters, one per character. Each chapter is going to be from that character's perspective, and I hope that it is as close to the character as I can get it. This story takes place the night of Amy and Rory's wedding, and during John and Mary's wedding. (Whoops... Was that a spoiler?)  
This story is my idea, and I would hope that you would do me a favour and NOT take it. I'm sorry if it is really similar to another story that has been published, I haven't read any other Wholock fic besides the lovely PONDLOCK one (You know who you are...).  
The characters belong to Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss and BBC. **

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Amy POV

I suppose, when you think of the words 'Wedding Crashers' your mind almost immediately goes to the movie. The sassiness of the actors, the chaoticness of the whole mashed up comedy, it's honestly quite a funny experience. (I would just like to say that I indeed was dragged into going see the movie one movie-night, courtesy of my friends, but if I didn't they would have gestured to each other and said "Good, good. More for me and you." and made other stupid jokes). Will Ferrell being Will Ferrell, truly one of the funniest movies of this age. Of course, I've found funnier movies, in the future, in the past, on other planets, but nothing compares to the time when we, The Doctor, Rory and I, crashed a wedding.

First of all, I would just like to blame The Doctor because it was entirely his fault, but I also have to blame myself. If I was able to resist my best friend's floppy hair and awkward giraffe-like movements, I don't think we would have ever crashed the wedding in the first place. However, I can't say that I wasn't glad that we had.

It was our own wedding night. The Doctor, being The Doctor, decided to (probably because he had forgotten to bring a gift for us in the first place) take us on an adventure across all of time and space. And of course, I couldn't even hope for anything more. I had waited twelve years for The Doctor, and now that he was here, I couldn't get enough. So, still wrapped in a tighter than tight white and lacy wedding dress, I grabbed Rory's reluctant arm and dragged him on to the TARDIS with The Doctor.

I should have known by now that the TARDIS never listens to where The Doctor wants to go. I should have known by now that the TARDIS likes setting things up for The Doctor, not even caring what the circumstances are, and I really should have known that The Doctor can't even control the TARDIS for any of his lives.

Of course, being as insane as I was that night, all the thoughts that should have stopped me from jumping on the TARDIS and told me to stay the whole night wrapped up in sheets and covers with my newly-wedded husband watching all sorts of romantic Netflix shows and late night television, were not there. And I knew that Rory wouldn't put up a good fight, because he's Rory, so instead, we were on the TARDIS. With The Doctor.

"So, where are we going Doctor?" The younger, less experienced me said. I was leaning against the console unit in the center of the TARDIS' control room, watching my raggedy spaceman spin around me, pulling all sorts of levers and switches that he always pulls to get the TARDIS to run. The whole room was sort of swaying ever so slightly, like a mother rocking her child in a carriage.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," That was The Doctor, "would it, Pond?" He was a blur as he spun around me. He was spinning so fast that my eyes could barely keep track of him. But from what I could tell, he was still dressed up in suit from the wedding. The black jacketed suit with the white shirt and the cream colored scarf that he decided to wear for who knows what reason. Which meant that it was real. I was glad, I don't think I could have handled him wearing some sort of strange alien material, or worse, his bow-tied outfit. The one with the Grandpa jacket and the strangely colored suspenders. It made me shiver just thinking about it. Did Time Lords just have no style or something?

"Plus," He continued, "I wouldn't want to spoil my lovely Ponds wedding gift!" I honestly don't know if he knew where he was going at that point. He might have been making it up as he went along for all I knew!

However, being as ignorant as I was at the time, all I was hoping for was a nice planet filled with beautiful island beaches and peacefully swaying oceans, sitting with my Rory, letting the alien sun roast my human skin. But, if I had used my head, I should have known that when you travel with The Doctor, that is almost guaranteed not to happen. Almost. I hoped that this time would be that almost.

Hah, no.

There would probably never be a perfectly safe day with The Doctor.

At least, not in my time.

But that wasn't the point. I was too happy at the time to even worry about The Doctor's fantastical adventures with his Ponds. And when their adventures might end. But it didn't matter. Not now.

I was too busy being happy for myself. And Rory. Oh adorable Rory Williams and his ginger Amelia Pond-Williams, I have to remember to say Williams now. What an awful last name. I didn't know if I could get used to that. I probably had to, since I was now married to the man. I loved him more than his last name.

And speaking of the handsome klutz of a man, there he was, clinging to the side of the TARDIS for his life. He was perfect. He was my perfect little klutz. I loved him and he loved me. He loved me so much he'd protect me till the end of time. He'd be by my side until forever ended, which doesn't make much sense, but when you travel through time with The Doctor, many things that didn't make sense before start to not make much more sense.

Time is all wibbly wobbly.

I grinned and launched myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck and catapulting the two of us around the TARDIS. I swear I could hear her laughing, that amazing TARDIS. I knocked Rory's tophat ascue, and leaned against him, my own pointy nose touching his big awkward one slightly.

"I love you!" I said, grinning like an idiot.

"I love you too, Amelia Williams." He smiled brightly. Ah, he must have been the happiest man in the whole universe that night. He probably still is, as long as I'm around.

But The Doctor cut in. "This isn't a Snog-Box, Ponds. If you wanted a Snog-Box you shouldn't have gone in here! I'm not your personal Snog-Box-Time-Traveling-Taxi." But he didn't mean it.

He loved us more than anything.

I don't think he could have survived without us. We waited for him, so he promised us the universe in return for company. The TARDIS Trio, we were. The Ginger, The Nurse and The Spaceman. I pulled him, mid spin, into the hug. He nearly tripped over his own feet. Again. But, I guess, that's why we loved him. He was just what Rory and I needed in our lives. An escape. And an adventure.

"My boys. My perfect boys." I grinned between the two.

"We're not your boys, Amelia." The Doctor gave me a fakely stern look, pressing a hand on either of our backs. I could see that he was trying to stifle a smile.

"You are too!" I called back. "Besides, it's my wedding night, you have to be nice to me."

"I am nice to you, Pond! I take you and show you the stars. That's quite a nice thing to do, you know. I could have taken anyone, and yet, I have my Ponds here with me. I'm pretty sure it's quite a nice thing to do." The Doctor flipped his hair awkwardly. "And I do it all the time. I'm really sure that counts as something."

"Yes, but you do that all the time!" I growled back at him. "Tonight's my wedding night! I want something special!"

Rory beamed between us. "The Doctor promised us something special, Amy. I don't want our gift to be ruined."

"Yes! Rory, you need to learn to control your wife!" He kissed both of us on a cheek and scrambled out of the hug, heading back to the controls.

"Technically, you're the one making this a Snog-Box, Doctor. You're the one who's always kissing people!" I giggled.

"But I don't count, Amelia!" He was a blur again. "It's the two of you I'm worried about. You're always going all smoochie-smoochie on me."

Life couldn't possibly be that perfect. Traveling around with your best friend and your lover at the same time. Laughing, having a good time together for eternity. All of space and time to explore together. Of course, when traveling with The Doctor there were always mishaps that occurred. Every. Single. Time. But I didn't care at that moment. I knew this time would be different.

And I was wrong. Really really wrong.

I didn't see The Doctor slip, but I felt it. I think I still have a bruise on the side of my body to show for it. One moment I was laughing and enjoying my company of friends, and the next, I was flying through the air looking like some sort of exotic bird with my ginger hair and bright white wedding dress. My Raggedy Doctor was barely hanging on to the main section of the TARDIS, the screen part (where River had previously hung her stunningly blood red heels), and his legs were hanging in all sorts of weird angles.

I could barely hear Rory calling my name, but felt him soon enough as he crashed against me, pinning the two of us to the side of the TARDIS. The two of us hung on to each other as we wailed our way through space and time. And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The Doctor had finally found the correct switch and pulled it, stopping us abruptly. Rory asked if I was alright.

"I-I'm fine..." I answered, slightly out of breath. "What the hell was that?"

But it wasn't Rory who answered me, it was The Doctor. "That, was us arriving at your human-wedding gift destination!" He looked a little nervous, as if he didn't quite know exactly where we were (which was actually probably the truth, now that I think about it).

He leapt down the steps, sliding on the railing slightly, before arriving at the door of the TARDIS. He turned back towards us, one hand on the door, the other holding up an imaginary glass of champagne. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, but that wasn't exactly a comforting sight.

"To my Ponds!" He raised the invisible glass to the ceiling. "And their magnificent future!"

He beamed and opened the door of the TARDIS. However, the people on the other side of the door weren't as happy.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here... Doctor?" The words came from a short man, one with a lined, but happy, face. One that had clearly gone through a lot of tragic events in the recent past. He had neatly combed almost faded-blonde hair and eyebrows that were tightly pressed together. He looked a tad bit confused as he looked from The Doctor to Rory and I, but then he seemed to get a look of realization on his face.

Had he met us before? In our future?

"Sorry everyone," The short man coughed slightly, looking between an extremely tall man with curly black hair (who was giving us a dirty look) and a short woman with tightly pinned blonde hair (who was looking curiously between us). "My friends said they'd show up late. These are The Ponds and their Doctor." He smiled brightly, yet awkwardly, turning back to the three of us. "I'm glad you could make it, I hope you enjoy what's left of my wedding."

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**I hope you liked that! Sorry for the waiting between chapters. _If you want a sneak preview to the next chapter, please feel free to review the story_. PLEASE FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW THIS STORY AND FAVOURITE, FOLLOW AND PM ME! **

**~Matteo :33**


	2. Old Friends

**Hello again! It was so nice to hear from such lovely people!**  
**Thanks to ImpossibleClara9 and sassywriterchick for being awesome and reviewing my story. I love you both very much. Also, this chapter will be in Mary's point of view, so I hope you like it. It was very fun to write. Can't wait to hear what you have to say!**

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Mary POV

To be totally honest with you, I was very scared when the blue box appeared behind my husband. Huge old police boxes don't usually appear in the middle of the air. Especially at a wedding. And three people don't usually peek their heads out of the rather small said police box. It wasn't the scariest thing that has happened to me in all my years, but it was quite surprising. I won't say that I don't believe in the impossible, but the impossible to be involved with my husband? Not likely.

His best friend had come back from the dead, but I don't think that counted.

John's best friend was the famous Sherlock Holmes. And when you dealt with Sherlock Holmes, I suppose, anything was possible. He could fake his own death, more than once probably.

The same wasn't to be said about John and I.

But at the time, John and I had been waltzing, peacefully waltzing. The couple's first dance. It was supposed to be quite special, I had heard from the other married guests. And to be honest, I was very excited about it. (I decided to push down and ignore that digging, awful feeling in my gut, I was going to tell John eventually, just not yet). I would finally be married!

We were in the middle of doing a strange box-step type of move when it first started to appear. A gasping, whooshing sound filled the room. The guests looked around curiously, confused slightly. But instead of looking at everyone, I stared at John. His eyes seemed to go wide, a huge number of emotions jumping across his face; shock, giddiness, anger, and sorrow, to name a few. It was confusing to me (at the time) that one sound could possibly trigger that many emotions at once, but as soon as I saw the look on John's face when he saw that box I understood.

This was a friend of John's. One that he had thought that he would never see again.

What else had John done when Sherlock was 'dead'?

I heard a couple people fainting when the box finally appeared. I didn't actually look over at them, but I heard the loud gasps of air and the groans of other guests catching the fainting ones. My eyes were glued on the box, wide with shock.

John, fists clenched, waited for the door to open. And when it did, I was nearly face-to-face with some of the tallest people I had ever seen in my life. Well, not face-to-face, but more face to torso. I had to look way, way up to see their faces. You see, I don't consider myself to be short, it was just that the three of them were very tall.

There was a child-like looking man at the front. He had a strange suit-like outfit on, a black jacketed outfit with an awkward scarf that wound its way around his neck, falling lightly down his body. He was wearing a grin, which slowly turned into an awkward cringe as he came face-to-face with John's smoldering look. He was extremely thin, not the sick type of thin, just the type of thin that said 'I'm sorry, I was just sort-of born this way'. For hair, he had a weird swoop of hair that seemed to defy gravity for a moment before crashing down with the help of gravity. And he had the biggest chin imaginable. The. Biggest. Chin.

There was a girl beside him who had fiery red hair. She looked surprised (and a little happy) for a moment, before she spotted me, and then her smile turned into a frown as she turned towards the first man. She was nearly as tall as the first man, but clearly was much more mature. Or a little more mature, it was hard to tell, just from seeing her. She was wearing a nicely cut white dress, a wedding dress. Now I understood her frown at the first man. Now there were two brides at this wedding.

I wonder who she was married to?

Probably, with the look she was giving the man in the scarf, the third man.

The third man was looking awkwardly at the whole wedding ceremony, his eyes seeming to curse the first man, internally face-palm and apologise to everyone at the same time. He had a shy look on his face, almost Molly-like. His hair was parted on the side and pulled over to right, like a teenage hipster (yes, with the big glasses and all). However, both he and the ginger looked annoyed at the first man. He must have been the one who brought them here.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here... Doctor?" John shout-whispered. He was shaking slightly, staring up at the first man. He didn't seem surprised to see The Doctor, but there was a strange sadness about how he looked at the trio from the box.

The Doctor-man smiled awkwardly down at John. He was at a loss for words. Luckily, John had him covered. It was like he was running by a script. Strange, strange John. "Sorry Everyone," He turned back to the crowd, making eye contact with Sherlock then with me. "My friends said they'd show up late. These are the Pond's and their Doctor." He smiled brightly, yet the smile was fake. What on earth was going on?! He turned back towards the trio. "I'm glad you could make it, I hope you enjoy what's left of my now-crashed wedding."

The guests were still staring at the box, and it's inhabitants.

There was an awkward pause as John tried to figure out what was to be done. There was clearly something he had to talk to the Pond's and their Doctor about. "Let the dancing begin!" The Doctor-man called to the crowd with a grin. He had such a strange voice, English sounding, but it was slightly off. He reached into his coat, and carefully pressed a button on an unseen object, an annoying buzzing filled the air for a moment and then-

The lights suddenly changed to strobe and loud music blasted its way through the speakers positioned all over the room.

The DJ looked a bit confused as he looked at the music that had started without him touching a thing. I glanced at Sherlock, his brow was furrowing, looking suspiciously at the Doctor-man and his Pond's. But the guests seemed unfazed by the noise, and many jumped on to the dance-floor, minding their own business.

John grabbed the Doctor-man's jacket sleeve, causing him to call out (but it was muffled by the music), grab the ginger's arm, and she grabbed her husband's arm. My annoyed husband gave both Sherlock and I a look, telling us to follow him. We did.

The five of us walked down a long hallway, one in which was quiet and seemingly empty. A perfect place to talk about what the hell was going on. The Doctor-man, the Pond's and John were quite a ways ahead of me, so I walked beside John's curly, dark haired friend. Sherlock towered over me, a looming figure with dark clothing, hiding in the shadows like the Consulting Detective he was. But I could tell he was curious. John was his best friend, and he cared for him more than ever. Or maybe he was jealous. That made perfect sense too. Perhaps Sherlock thought that he wasn't the first, and maybe John had had this child-like man before him, and once the man had left him for these Pond people, the short man had gone looking for a new companion.

The thought made me chuckle, earning me a sour look from the detective.

"Just because it's your wedding night, does not give you the permission to laugh at me, Mary Watson." Sherlock muttered at me.

"Who says I was laughing at you, Sherlock Holmes?" I countered. He gave me a dirty look, typical Sherlock.

The two of us rounded a corner of the hallway, following John and his 'guests' into a rather empty, shadowed side-hallway. He turned towards the Doctor-man, who flinched and ducked behind the ginger bride. She scowled at the Doctor-man.

"This was supposed to be my wedding gift, Doctor!" She said in a scottish accent. What on earth was a Scot doing out here? But then and again, how on earth did that blue box appear out of nowhere? "Not some sort of stupid scheme to crash someone else's wedding. This is all your fault, Raggedy Man!" She looked somewhere in the middle of fury and about-to-start-crying-hysterically.

I could see John start to pity the girl for a moment. She clearly just wanted to have a good time, but her friend, the Doctor-man, clearly couldn't help where he ended up, could he? I walked over to the ginger, tenderly touching the side of her arm with a gentle smile. "It's alright." What could I say? Us brides should stick together? No way! "I'm Mary. What's your name?"

"Amy." She looked at me curiously, as if she'd met me before, but couldn't place it. Almost in a dream of sorts. "Mary what, if you don't mind me asking…?"

"Mary Watson. Just recently Watson, actually. I was Mary Morstan only a couple of hours ago." I smiled at Amy brightly, I had the right to brag, I was actually finally married!

Her eyes went wide as she looked at me. "M-Mary Morstan?" She stuttered. The Doctor-man's eyes went wide and the other Pond muttered "No, way…". What was going on?

"That must make you," The husband-Pond pointed at John with a shaky finger. "J-John Watson." John nodded uncertainly. The husband-Pond's eyes widened further as he looked at Sherlock. "And…"

"Sherlock Holmes." The three chorused.

That certainly was strange. I knew Sherlock was a celebrity in London, but had he made it all the way to Scotland?

Sherlock looked between the three of them. "Yes? Do you have a problem with that?" He looked a tad bit annoyed, but that was Sherlock for you.

The Doctor's eyes went wider, as he stepped past Amy and went to Sherlock taking his hands and shaking them up and down enthusiastically. The Pond's stayed frozen in their spots, staring at Sherlock. The Doctor was muttering loudly, saying a lot yet saying nothing at all. "It's such a great pleasure to meet you, such a great honor…" He went on and on for a bit, but I was tuning him out.

John was looking at The Doctor like he had seen this all before.

But how could that be? I was sure this was the first time they had clearly met us. I was ever so confused by this point, especially about The Doctor's blue box. What John meant about his old friends? These were certainly not old friends, they were new strangers, or… Or something…

I didn't know what to think by this point.

And everything that was coming up in my head seemed utterly impossible.

Sherlock spoke up. "Yes, I am Sherlock Holmes. I see you've heard of me."

The Doctor responded, "Yes, of course! Who hasn't. I mean, I haven't and you're… Well, wouldn't want to tell you that, would I. The question is, what are you doing here. Because clearly, you aren't supposed to be here…"

"Not supposed to be here? What do you mean?" Sherlock looked confused. A rare sight to see.

The Doctor paused for a moment. "Spoilers."

John broke in. "Could you possibly be more vague? Just tell them who you are Doctor." He paused, pointing to Sherlock and I in turn. "She's my wife and he's my best friend. You of all people should know this." He gave The Doctor a look that said more.

The strange man looked at John for a moment, his eyes seemed trustworthy, yet sad, and curious all at the same time. He didn't trust John that much, I could tell, but I guessed that it was something in his past... Or his future. It was hard to understand. Then he looked at us with a stare that seemed to freeze time around us. "I'm The Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am 1200-and-something years old." Amy and her husband gave The Doctor a look that plainly said, _how do you not know your own age?_ "These are my two companions, Amy and Rory Pond." Another dirty look from the married couple. "And I just crashed the Watson's wedding," He grinned broadly, madly. "and I am ready to dance!"

Sherlock and I looked at each other in shock. _This man was completely insane!_

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**I think you'll be glad to hear this but the NEXT CHAPTER IS FROM SHERLOCK's Point of View. I'M REALLY EXCITED TO WRITE/POST IT! Please don't forget to REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW this story. And FAVOURITE, FOLLOW and PM me!  
~Matteo :33**


	3. Something From a Fairytale

**Hello my dear Readers!  
I am so so SO SO SO SORRY that this has taken as long as it has. But I am currently in the middle of doing four projects at the same time. Anyway, I pumped this out in a couple of days, so I hope you enjoy it! It has Sherlock written all over it. I would like to thank ImpossibleClara9 for being fabulous and proofreading my chapter. SHE'S AWESOME BECAUSE SHE'S ACTUALLY BRITISH!**

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Sherlock POV

Of course, I didn't believe any of them. Who would anyway? Time Travelers? Ha! Sure, this Doctor had a strange style of clothing, from his off colored scarf to the way his hair flipped over the side of his head, but that didn't necessarily say anything. Did it?

I couldn't possibly be sure.

And as much as I wanted to go to my mind palace and figure this out, I didn't quite get the chance. I just couldn't tune the upset cries of the Ginger, the muttering of the husband and the many apologies that The Doctor had to say. The ginger, Amy she was called, had a breakdown and started yelling at The Doctor about how messed up this was. She said she had just wanted to have a good time, yet here she was, ruining someone else's wedding. And not just any wedding, John Watson's wedding. It seemed as if John, Mary and I were much more important than I had originally thought.

How very curious. I knew I was popular, but it didn't quite make sense that she would know so much about me. Including that John was getting married. And to Mary for that matter.

Of course, The Doctor had told the husband man, Rory, to 'calm his wife down' which got the married couple both angry at The Doctor, causing the man to start to back away from them and down the hallway, running straight into a concerned looking Molly Hooper (who was eyeing me with a strange amount of affection, and The Doctor with curiosity) and grabbing her arm and dragging her back into the dance hall. The ginger tried to go after her alien friend but, was stopped by her husband. (Who she quickly wrenched free from.)

Amy was the man in their relationship, that was for sure. But it was clear that she loved the other man, even if he did get on her nerves. It was a childhood romance, corrupted by the entrance of an alien.

Interesting how much I can get it from one look. People are so easy sometimes. There wasn't much looking that needed to be done. The ginger stomped down the hallway, pausing for a moment, making slight eye contact with me, and then entering the dance hall. The husband started speaking about how the ginger was always like this and she could never be controlled. Blah, blah, blah. His intellect was substantially lower than the rest of them. The Doctor's ranking first, followed by the gingers and then the husbands.

Husbands are usually the ones at the bottom of the intellect levels. Aside from John, who was quite smart himself. Not as smart as I, though.

But the look. Her look. The ginger's look. It meant something. She wanted me to do something. What was it? Well, I only had a certain amount of options. I could disregard her look completely, or I could follow her inside, and listen to what she had to say. Because clearly, she had some questions. And since she made eye contact with me, they needed to be answered by myself.

So I followed the ginger back into the dance hall, the husband yelling some apologies to John and Mary who were promising him it was going to be alright.

She was standing against the wall of the dance hall. Arms crossed. Hair flowing. I had to admit, for one of the female gender, she was quite attractive. Lots of freckles dotting her face. Her eyes met mine, a darkish shade of some strange color met my deep brown ones. (Going by her red hair, I would say that they would probably be green.) She motioned me over to her, and I joined her by the wall.

"Hello." I said.

"Hello." She muttered back, not looking at me. "You were staring."

"I was admiring your dress." She glanced at me, an eyebrow raised. "I wasn't exactly expecting there to be two brides at this wedding."

"Well I didn't expect to be here."

"Where did you expect to be?"

"I don't know. I just expected The Doctor to be more mature. But no. Of course not." She sighed and I saw her eyes dart towards the strange man dancing in the middle of the crowd. With Molly. She looked happy. That was always good. I wonder where Tom went. Perhaps she had gotten rid of him already. She was too smart for him to begin with.

"He's always a child inside, I suppose."

"Yeah." She paused. "Well, almost all the time. Sometimes I don't know who he is."

The was an awkward pause. I didn't know how to continue the conversation and was debating if I should have just left then. But she stuck her arm out, hand at her hip and arm making a weird diamond shape with her figure. Her eyes met mine and she smirked. "What? Does the famous Sherlock Holmes not know how to dance?"

Annoying. "Of course he does."

"Then dance with me."

I must have looked a bit shocked.

"Oh wow! Did you not expect me to ask you to ask me to dance? Seriously?" She laughed. "We're at a wedding! There is music playing! And I ask you to follow me, you do, and then you just expect us to stand here?"

She grabbed my arm and dragged me on to the dance floor.

I don't mean to seem straightforward but, for someone who had just gotten married, she was acting like she was single. Not everyone just takes someone else's arm and drags them onto a dance floor. Which probably meant that she did something rather straightforward as a job. Or she did do something straightforward, before she got married. It must have paid well, going from how perfectly her hair fell down her shoulders and how expensive her bright white lacy dress (or should I say gown) was.

So it must have not been something appropriate. Stripper? No. Her bust was too small for that. Something like that though. Kissogram. Perfect. That seemed about right. Which was why she wasn't getting the same amount of money anymore, her husband had told her to quit.

An interesting kissogram, that was for sure.

A kissogram important enough to appear in the middle of John and Mary's first dance. (Which, to be honest was not even close to their first dance, they had been practicing and practicing for hours on end. To be honest, I don't understand why they call it a 'First Dance' if they're going to practice and practice to get it perfect.) A kissogram who traveled through space. It made sense, weird sense, if I thought about it. But it also made my head hurt, so I stopped.

Time travel wasn't possible.

She placed her hands on my shoulders gently. Such a kind touch for such a strange woman. A beautifully strange woman with a flirtatious yet motherly instinct. I placed my hands on her hips. She raised an eyebrow at me, curious that I actually knew how to dance probably. Mycroft had taught me how to dance once before, with one of the dummies we had found lying about in the house we had stayed the summer in. Dancing is a lot harder than it looks, but since Mycroft got the hang of it so easily, I was determined to be better than him. (Which, of course, I am.)

And we started dancing, getting down to the loaded conversation that she had just in store for me.

"Tell me who you really are." She said.

"Sherlock Holmes." Of course I was Sherlock Holmes. William Sherlock Scott Holmes. The brightest man in the world.

"Don't lie to me." She leaned forward. I could smell a tinge of alcohol on her breath. It wasn't that much, but it was enough to make someone slightly out of it. It made sense, she had just come from her own wedding and jumped into the strange blue box that people on the dance floor were strictly avoiding. She deserved to be happy. "You're a liar. Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character from one of my favourite books."

Favourite.

She squinted at me. So I squinted back at her. "But of course, I am not actually fictional. I don't know what stories of John's that you have been reading, but I am very real, and you are drunk. Anyone can see that I am a literal person. I am standing in front of you. In fact your hands are on my shoulders. You are touching me."

She swung slightly, leaning her whole body weight against me. My eyes darted from her smirking face to The Doctor who was looking suspiciously at me as he danced weirdly around Molly. Like a giraffe. Then to John, who had just entered the room and was looking wide eyed at me. Then Mary, who was directly behind him, looking in shock and then darted back outside, probably to stop the husband, the Mr Williams, from seeing us together. I had to get rid of her, and fast.

But she wouldn't let go.

She was speaking in such a low voice that I could barely hear, she whispered into my ear. "I don't care what you say. You're not real. This isn't possible. Not even in my wildest dreams. Not the both of you." It made sense now. The Doctor must have been a fictional character for her. Difficult to accept that he was real. But when she finally did, I appeared which made her question everything that she'd ever read or seen. Difficult to accept that I was real. Plus she was really very drunk by this point.

Was I really fictional in another universe? It was difficult to wrap my head around it. And I didn't really have the time. (I really needed talk to John about him stopping writing his blog though.)

I sort of, (mind the word) waddled, over to John and disposed of the ginger into the crowd of empty seats that lined the room. Instead of her head lolling in the chair, she looked up at me. Her look was hard, smart, feisty. Only in a moment, only in that one look, I understood. In order to be a good kissogram, she had to be quick, she had to know her way around flirting, but make sure that she didn't get into any twists at the same time.

She was smart. She was smarter than I would have ever had thought. And as she smirked up at me, one eyebrow raised, I realized. She knew how to get information out of men. And she had done so, and as much as I despised to say it, she had gotten the information out of me that she needed. Despite the fact that she had only just gotten married and she was still in her wedding gown. What Lestrade had said to (ugh) Anderson, was right. Gingers were feisty, and gingers were soulless.

I grimaced down at her, almost groaning at myself for what I was about to do.

I pulled out a chair beside her. And I sat down beside her.

She looked over at me in mock surprise. "Oh! Hello. I didn't expect you to be here."

"Lets start again, shall we?" I muttered, looking sternly back into her eyes.

She mocked my serious manner. "Alright, good sir. What could your name possibly be, you dark haired, handsome fellow?"

"Sherlock Holmes. Consulting Detective. The-" I was cut off.

"The only one in the world. The greatest detective this world has to offer. The greatest detective this universe, or any universe, has to offer." She grinned at me.

"And you might be?" I asked her. I was a tad bit upset that she had taken my line. I loved saying that to people, it made them stare in awe at my famousness.

"Amy Pond. Amelia Pond, really. I should say Williams now, but that makes me sound like a boring history teacher." She laughed slightly. I forgot all about her husband who Mary was trying to hold off.

"Amelia Pond." My memory shifted through the few fiction novels that I had read. One about a brave female pirate who risked everything for her crew and her ship. One with fiery ginger hair, and daring green eyes that craved adventure. "Just like something from a fairytale."

She genuinely smiled.

* * *

**That was it for now! I hope you enjoyed it! Molly's up next. I know she isn't part of the books, so I have included that. I'll get that chapter out to you as soon as I finish it. And proofread it about four hundred times. **

**~Matteo :3**


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